Dianchi Lake covers a wide array of an incompatible superb natural beauty of mountainous high rocks of the Golden Horse Mountain gallops, the Green Peacock Mountain and the White Crane Mountain. She will not forget the breathtaking views of floats and reeds flourish near the shore and the reflection of clear blue sky on the surface of Dianchi Lake. Also, the lake is an inhabitant of jade-green birds which hovering radiantly in the sky to express their happiness of living in this great biodiversity lake.
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She returns to the lakeside place where she spread the ashes of her mother and younger sister, upon hearing the news of the resurgence of the Nation attacks. She stands wearing a pair of black combats, white tank top and a black leather vest with her corporation logo on the back of it. She slips off her socks and boots, rolling up her pant legs as she sits on the water's edge dangling her feet into the water.
Interesting that she returns to the place, where she set her mother and sister's ashes their deaths caused by the Nation. All the memories of what the Nation's agents have done to her come flooding back to her as tears flow down from her eyes. Being hunted and followed throughout the cluster, her mother and sister being taken from her to Stain. Her continuous search for them and finally bringing them back only to find that they had been implanted.
She remembers pacing up and down the hallway of the hospital where her mother and sister had their surgery. She had picked every single nail off of her hands and almost wore a track in the floor, unable to sit still. Then her heart dropped as the doctor came out and called for her to the operating room. The tears that fell down her face as her mother took her last breath and cried out "For Nation." Her heart and soul broke in that instance, the overwhelming guilt in her eyes filled her as the other doctor came and grabbed her for her little sister. She walked down that cold sterile hallway to the Intensive Care Unit and saw her baby sister laying there like a porcelain doll, so perfect, so peaceful she thought. Only to have that guilt and loss reaffirmed in her.
She closes her eyes as tears fall remembering the pain of that day as she whispers to herself "But I want to die."
The fear of what the Nation will bring down next to her. She cant bear the thought of loosing more people she loves and cares about to the Nation, that they have taken so much from her. So, she makes a promise to herself to keep her loved one's safe no matter what the cost is even if it is her own undoing.
Its been a long year for her, some of it filled with pain, sorrow, regret, loss, loneliness and guilt. But on the other hand she learnt to love, to trust, to let someone in, to grow, and to find comfort in the night. So its not all filled with bad things, she has many happy memories just its easy for the hard memories to surface. When the pain comes yes she feels that there is no reprieve from it and she wants to die. She wants all the pain, lonliness and guilt to end, her heart heavy with her own eternal torment that she puts herself through. Logically knowing it ain't her fault, but since when did the heart and logic ever really usually agree.
Her one solace that she finds in the darkest hours of her pain and such is she slips a glimpse of a six and a half year old little brutor half ni-kunni girl that sleeps like a blissful innocent angel. She now has the strength to carry on, her angel giving her the courage to go on, to fight against what threatens them.
She stands up in the water and grabs her boots and socks as she starts to walk away she looks over her shoulder "I can make it, even through the dark clouds, I can do this. The Nation will not, will not harm those I love anymore." She walks down the path towards the landing pad and fades from sight.
Beautiful stuff Lit. :)
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