Tuesday, August 16, 2011

You will not hurt me anymore.



She sits at her desk doubled over, with her knees brought to her chest.  Coughing violently as more crimson matter runs down from the corner of her mouth, her breathing shallow and quick.  The dark skinned young woman closes her eyes, trying to collect herself from the words she has heard moments ago.  Confused and not sure what to think, these people that call  her, their friends say such cruel things to her.

"Nothing but drug lords and slavers."

She clasps her stomach tightly as her breathing shallows again with a faint whisper "But I am not."

"Your associations color you."

The deep sound of her cough echo's as she has been under enormose stress lately, her body is reacting to it, as blood comes from the other side of her mouth now.  Tears once more flow from those brillant green eyes, "I wish I didn't care anymore.  I wish I didn't care.  Why do their words still sting?"

Of, all the time and places she was today, she had to be there at that time and yet again have them try and dictate her future.  She stands up weakly and goes over to the window, hearing all the things they have said to her over the last three and a half months.  All the pain they have caused her.  But yet after all this time those words still for some reason get to her.

Whimpering in pain because this is not the only trouble on her mind, but for some reason it still stings a lot.  Her hands slide from the window down around her stomach, the not so distant anniversary of something precious lost.  The deep sound of her coughing, troublesome to her but she knows in her heart it is just stress, crimson fluid mixed in with saliva.

She slides down the wall to sit on the floor holding her stomach as tears fall from her with a heavy heart.  Knowing in her heart that they only have power of her if she lets them have it.  But you cant take back words that are spoken and words do hurt even if you know different and they are said with no ill intent.

She leans her head back against the wall, closing her tear stained eyes, coughing again and feeling the warm liquid trickle down her. She is not leaving or going any where.  So, maybe its time not to speak with them any longer or maybe she will come what they fear.  Only the fates and stars know what she will become, and they are not telling her any of their secrets.

"No more...no more dealing with that hell. I dont have to justify myself to them.  Just stop doing it.  Stop caring what they think, let them have their fears.  I don't need their approval of what I do.  I am an Angel, if they dont like it.  Then...well....fuck them. I will not go back, I will not allow them to hurt me anymore."


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An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind."
-Buddha

Words – so innocent and powerless as they are, as standing in a dictionary, how potent for good and evil they become, in the hands of one who knows how to combine them!
-Nathaniel Hawthorne

There is a weird power in a spoken word. . . . And a word carries far--very far--deals destruction through time as the bullets go flying through space.
-Joseph Conrad


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